Fatherhood is a Choice

Dear Son,

Fatherhood is a choice.

Choosing fatherhood is an essential step in being a good father because you can't do it well under duress.  Without choice, you will not faithfully fulfill the  responsibilities that come with the role.  Without the commitment of choice, resentment and doubt will sap you of your energy, and make it impossible to chase your child down the hallway--be it for play or for discipline.

The good news is you may choose before or after you become a parent.  You might have to choose more than once.  You could find yourself in a position where you need to recommit for some reason, and that's okay.   Just promise yourself, the child and those around you that you will choose.

Do not go through the motions feeling like you've got responsibilities thrust upon you.  That's a dark and lonely existence.  Commit to the role, and the responsibilities will become obvious.

Responsibilities are many, and vary depending on your style and your circumstances.   You need to know what they are, and honor them.  If you choose this role, recognize it's the most important job you've ever taken on in your life.   The responsibilities become a priority.

These are duties you have to fulfill cheerfully.  You can't fake love, or play, or caring, or attention with a child.  You need to be present for this.  And being present requires choice.

So choose your roles in life, figure out what your responsibilities are, and fulfill them.

I wish you success as a father.

I love you,

Papa

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

Ernest Hemingway said, "Write drunk, edit sober."

Profound advice not only for writers, but for the rest of us as well.

What would my life be like if I planned it while uninhibitedly drunk, but executed on those plans with clarity?

It would be rewarding.  I would challenge me.  I would live aggressively, yet responsibly.

Take note of those drunk ideas, and execute on them.

Plan life drunk, execute sober.